Victor/Victoria

M.C
Ladies and gentlemen, once again and with great pleasure that I introduce for
your kind pleasure the world's foremost female impersonator. But it's also with
great sadness that I must tell you that he has decided to retire and what you're
about to see is his last performance.

Chorus
A thousand artists have done their damnedest to paint her,
But all in vain.
And ev'ry day their hopes grow fainter;
The reason's plain.
For Victoria's also known as Victor,
Making it tricky to depict her.
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria,
Victoria, what a victor you are!
She spreads confusion; her illusion is serene.
Behind the screen, is he a king or is she a queen?
She's such a tease; fellas like these,
Trying to please, get ill at ease.
Not sure if he's: Louee or Louise...

Company:
No wonder...
Thousands of lovers struggle to win her
Without success.
Even an evening having dinner,
She won't say yes.
And God help the guy who ever tricked her;
Kiss 'em goodbye if they afflict her.
Victoria
No wonder...
Male friends, also
Female, keep sending me
Mail; wond'ring can
She be male?
They all pursue me, and
Woo me, and misconstrue me.

Company:
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria,
Victoria, what a victor you are!
Men are so dim fancying him and fancying her.
They're so bemused, they get confused
Which one they prefer.

Is he a she? Is she a he?
If you ask me, it's hard to see.
Is he a she? Is she a he?
If you ask me,

Which she can be?

Victoria
There's no guarantee.
And so when young men and old men,
Turning to bold men, to hold my hand,
They get too frazzled and bedazzled
To understand.

Company
You can't contradict her or predict him;
She is a victor, not the victim.
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria,

Labisse
[speaking]
Stop! Make way-dancing fools...
Ladies and gentlemen, you are victims of a cruel hoax,
This woman is no man!

Toddy
I'm man enough for you, sweetheart!

Company
And that's why...all young men and old men
Turning to bold men to hold her hand...
They get to frazzled and bedazzled
To understand.
You can't contradict her or predict him.
She is a victor not the victim.
Victor Victoria,
Victor Victoria,
Victoria, what a victor you are!

Toddy
So when a guy loves a lady,
However shady it may appear...
No need to yell if they're two fellers;
That's not so queer.

Victoria and Toddy
We'll all meant to cherish one another;

Squash
It's not a crime to love each other!

Toddy
(speaking)
He sings too!

Chorus
Victor Victoria,
Victor Victoria,
Victoria, what a victor you are!
Victoria, what a victor you are!
Aaaaaaah!
________________________________

Living in the Shadows

Victoria
Living in the shadows,
Hiding from the sunlight,
Hiding from the one light that might help to guide you.
Hiding from tomorrow,
Hiding from the day,
Only brings a sorrow
That won't go away
Wand'ring in the darkness,
Living ev'ry midnight,
Doesn't ever rid night of nightmares as love might.
Life is full of dangers,
Strangers ev'ry turn.
Living in the shadows,
That's no way to learn...
The more you learn,
The more you seek,
The more you find,
The more you care,
The more the world is kind.
One thing I can tell you:
Life should be your lover,
Help you to discover your reason for being.
Soon you will be seeing
What you're all about.
Living in the shadows,
You'll never find out.
Living in the shadows
I'll never find out...
_______________________________

Chicago, Illinois

Norma
Trendy trav'lers tend to talk
Of London, Paris, Rome, New York,
Like only they were stylish and unique.
But out in the Midwest
Is the city I love the best:
A town so smart it's spelling stars
With: C - H - I - C...Chic!

Chicago, Illinois, is like a shiny toy.
The prairie State is proud to sate
That it's its pride and joy.
The Windy City sweeps ya clean off ya feet;
POW!

Its charm is complete;
POW!
They're knockin' ya flat, this way or that
On ev'ry downtown street.
POW!

The White Sox and the Cubs
And other sporting clubs
Make living here a pretty nifty ploy.
Smack on the lake, this is the report!
Someday, they say, we'll have an airport!
When they say: "hey, I'm from Chi!",
They mean Chicago, Il-li-nois!

[Speaking]
Not Detroit, not Des Moines, not even Pittsburgh!
Poo poo pee doo...Poo pee doo pow!

[Singing]
When they say: "hey, I'm from Chi!",
They mean Chicago, Illinois!

Chorus
Chicago, Illinois, is like a shiny toy.
The prairie State is proud to sate
That it's its pride and joy.
The Windy City sweeps ya clean off ya feet;
Its charm is complete;
They're knockin' ya flat, this way or that
On ev'ry downtown street.

Oh...Wow...Wow! Humm...Humm...Ooh...Ooh!
The White Sox and the Cubs
And other sporting clubs
Make living here a pretty nifty ploy.
Smack on the lake, this is the report!
Someday, they say, we'll have an airport!

When they say: "hey, I'm from Chi!",
They mean Chicago, Il-li...
Chicago is the killer.
They mean Chicago, Illi...
C-H-I-G-A-G-OOOOOOOOOOOO, Illinois, Wow!
_________________________________

Living in the Shadows (Reprise)

King
Good to see you, Sal. What brings you to Paris?

Sal
Fairy tales!

King
And somebody called?

Norma
There he is, the Count! And he's Mr. Tod, the Count's former lover, you
know? You want the truth, ask the count!

Sal
You ask him...

Norma
I already know the answer.

Sal
Norma!

Norma
Are you King's lover?

King
I love him very much!

Norma
Oh, God!

Sal
I'm gonna throw up!
Here, sign this... Since that I don't like being in business with homos,
I'm buying you out!

Victoria
Oh, darling, don't do it!

King
Ok, sweetheart!

Sal
Jesus, King, That's disgusting!

Victoria
[Pushing Norma]
That's it!

Norma
Take your hands off me!

Victoria
Go on, go on upstairs on the bed!

Norma
Wait! Lock the door...

Victor
I've got a surprise for you...Dah daaah!

Norma
[Screams]
You no good two-timing son of a bitch...He's a woman!

Victor
Yes, yes
Yes...
The more I leer
The more I seek
The more I find
The more I care
The more the world is kind
One thing I can tell you
Life should be your lover
Help you to discover your reason for being
Soon you will be seeing
What you're all about
Living in the shadows
You'll never find out
Push away the shadows
The sun will come out!
________________________________

Almost a Love Song

Victor
So, what do we do?

King
You want me to be honest?

Victor
Always!

King
I could never live with you this way.

Victor
Because you are frightened that people will think that you're in love
with a man?

King
Right!

Victoria
So we have a problem...

King
I guess we have!

Victoria
What we have here is almost a love song.
I'm perfect for you , you're perfect for me.
Ev'rything they sing about we have in profusion;
The same sense of humor, a romance more than mere illusion.

King
So why are we almost a love song?
Why aren't we the song of the year? Does the moment go by?

Victoria
Are we frightened to try?

King
If we are, more's the pity,

Victoria
For the idea seems so pretty...to be almost a love song.

King
You owe me a love song.

Both
So where is my love song, my dear?

Victoria
Seriously, maybe it's for the best, sooner or
later I'd probably ask you to stop being a gangster,
because I was worried about everybody thinking that
I was your mole.

King
I'm not a gangster, I'm a businessman!

Victoria
A business doing business with gangsters claiming
he's not a gangster; sounds a lot like the kind of
act I do! I think we're both pretenders and I guess
this is not a really good basis for a relationship,
but it was fine while it lasted...
[she leaves]

King
One thing's clear here:

Victoria
It's clear

King
We're almost a love song.

Victoria
We're almost a love song.

King
She's so good for me,

Victoria
I'm no good for him,

King
I'm no good for her.

Victoria
He's so good for me...I imagined somebody...

King
I saw someone...

Victoria
Who looks at things my way.

King
We'll travel life's highway.

Victoria
Whatever the weather,

King
But I wonder whether

Both
The two of us should be together.

Victoria
So, why are we almost a love song,

King
Are we a love song?

Victoria
Instead of the song of the year?

King
Not a good one, I fear ... Will the moment go by?

Victoria
Will I lose him? Are we frightened to try?

King
Mustn't lose her...if I do...

Victor
If we are...

Both
Then it's tragic; he and I have too much magic

Victoria
Then it's tragic; she and I have too much magic.

Both
To be almost a love song ...

King
Hell, I might as well face it.

Victoria
You owe me a love song...

King
I could never replace it.

Victoria
So, where is our love song, my dear?

King
Where is our love song, my dear?
____________________________________

You and Me

Victor and Toddy
You and me,
We're the kind of people other people
Would like to be.

Toddy
A little strolling?

Victor
Why not!

Both
Wand'ring free,
We present the kind of picture
People are glad to see.
And we don't care that tomorrow
Comes with no guarantee;
We've each other for company.
And come what may,
You and me, we'll stay together
Year after year,
Won't we, my dear?
"That's why we're you and...

Victor
Me!

Toddy
Walk this way

Victor
Oh!

Toddy
I taught him everything he knows

Victor
And that's why he has so little left, oh!

Toddy
I'll get you for that

Victor
[whistling]

Toddy
Oh, I love this guy!

Victor
Out!

Toddy
Careful now!

Victor
Humm...

Toddy
Twice

Both
Ah...Ah!

Toddy
I can fool you...

Victor
No, you can't!
Watch, Toddy!
Humm...oom...
Dah dam dah dah!

Toddy
You're on your own, kid!

Victor
What! What! Oh, Toddy!
Humm...oom...

Both
And come what may,
You and me, we'll stay together
Year after year,
Won't we my dear?
We'll always be you and me.
We'll always be you ...and...
Me!
_____________________________

King’s Dilemma

King
[spoken]
I'm gonna have dinner with her, with him, tonight.
So, what's the big deal? It's not a big deal, all right? All right!
So why am I shy as a spotty-faced kid in a high-school prom?
Why? I'll tell you why...It's because I don't know
Where this crazy dame, this Victor guy, whoever he is, is coming from,
That's why!
I am a guy who knows himself, so I really don't give a damn!
I never could be in love with a man, but what if I am?
I mean, me? Ha! Gay? Ha!
If I know that I'm not, what's the problem I've got?
And why do I feel this way?
The only logical answer is...that he's a dame!
I know that I'm right.
I can tell from the way that I feel. Yeah!
So maybe the way to play it is to go along with the game.
If for some dumb reason I'm wrong,
Is it such a big deal?
[He thinks about it.] Yeah!

[sung]
I've never been wrong about dames, not once in my life.
If I had been, you can bet I'd be stuck with a wife.
But not me, not King!
My life has been one sweet perpetual fling.
I've played so many games,
Fanned the flames with loads a dames.
And I've landed the blame for each dame who claims I've tricked her.
But now at last I'm in love ...

[spoken]
for Victor!
Maybe I should see a doctor,
Or concoct a cockamamie tale to get me out of town.
Maybe take a long vacation with some appetizing chick
To lift me up when I am down.

[sung]
Or maybe I should face the music,
Give up dames like Mame an' Margo;
Take on board this strange new cargo.
Did Othello fancy Iago?
I'll take Victor to Chicago, and we'll see what happens then,
When I'm out with him at eight or ten
Of the world's no question,
Most obnoxious man, ha, ha, ha!
"I'd like you to meet my beautiful boy-friend Victor."
How will it sound, down at the stadium?
How will it look, out of the race-track?
I can just see, out of the ballpark Tony Palermo give the eye
When I waltz in with a guy!
Of all God's gorgeous creatures who play tag with my libido,
I have to pick the queen of drag, who dresses in a tuxedo!
"I'd like you to meet my lover: not Norma, Victor!"
What would they think, out of the gulf club?
What would they say, down at the nightclub?
Here's what they'd say at Guido's Steak House
The moment we were seen:
"Hey! Did you guys know that King Marchan is a queen?"

[spoken]
It's a trick and trap; I'm not takin' the rap
For a crime I didn't do.
I've gotta make certain that he is a she;
If I don't, all my nightmare's to end up true!
There's only one way to find out for sure,
But I haven't got the guts to try. Or have I?
If I'm right, I'll throw a party tonight!
If I'm wrong, I think I'll die!

[sung]
But yes, I guess I gotta do it!
Hell, there isn't that much to it!
I can't sit here one more minute
Lettin' time go by.
I need to put an end to all this how and why!
I need to know like most guys need an alibi.
I'll go myself! I just can't ask a private eye,
"Is the girl I'm in love with...
A guy?"
_______________________________

Louis Says

Victoria
I know they say of Marie Antoinette
My reputation is a go-getter
So when I met Louis Sixteenth of Bourbon
t'was so disturbin', I thought a Bourbon
Once in ev'ry while would keep me smiling.
Louis Seize he's king of France
Not by chance that I wed him
They all do as Louis says.
My, oh, yez... I just bed him.
Then I recline on my chaise.
Who cares what they do?
Who cares what Louis says?
Louis says I misbehave,
Rant an' rave craving trouble.
If he only knew the truth,
In my youth it was double.
My life's a big bowl of fraises.
Poor Louis screwy;
Who cares what Louis says?
Suddenly the revolution came,
And my social life is not the same.
So I play a very diff'rent game,
Living one day at a time.
Since each day may be my last,
I'll make each moment quite sublime.
Louis says they'll label me
Mad Marie Antoinette,
Famous for my roving eye.
He says I should know better.
Good times relieve mamalaise;
The rest is phooey.
Who cares what Louis says?
Chorus
Louis says she mustn't roam
Stay at home
Victoria
All adoring.
Chorus
He says she should be more prim,
More like him.
Victoria
Oh, God, how boring!
I like my sauce bordelaise;
He drives me cooey.
Who cares what Louis says?
Louis said the revolution's spread.
Louis said I mustn't lose my head.
And the people haven't any bread;
I say let 'em all eat cake.
Louis says that kind of attitude
Could be a grave mistake.
Louis says our time is short;
This resort's their museum.
I say they can go to hell!
Wish 'em well
When you see 'em
They're singing "La Marseillaise"
At half past seven,
I'm off two heaven.
So much for royalty!
So much for loyalty!
So much for Louis Seize!
__________________________

Crazy World

Crazy World
Crazy world
Full of crazy contradictions
Like a child.
First you drive me wild,
And then you win my heart
With your wicked art.

One minute tender, gentle,
Then temp'ramental as a summer storm.
Just when I believe your heart's getting warmer,
You're cold and you're cruel,
And I, like a fool, trying to cope,
Trying to hang on to hope.

Crazy world,
Ev'ryday the same old roller coaster ride.
But I've got my pride,
I won't give in,
Eventhough I know I'll never win.
Oh, how I love this
Crazy world.

But I've got my pride,
I won't give in,
Eventhough I know I'll never win.
Oh, how I love this
Crazy World.
_________________________

Paris Makes Me Horny

Norma
Pookieeeeeeeeeeee!

King
Yeah!

Norma
Hurry up!

King
What's the rush?

Norma
You know what they say, when in Paris...

King
It's when in Rome!

Norma
No, Rome makes me hungry...Paris makes me...hum...horny!
Rome maybe hot, sexy it is not.
Paris is so sexy.

Ridin' in a taxi gives me apoplexy.
Been ta Lisbon and Lisbon is a has-been.
Schlepped ta Stockholm, an' brought a lotta schlock home.
Also Oslo, and Oslo really was slow.

Paris makes me horny;
It's not like "Californy"
Paris is so dizzy;
Jack , it's such an aphrodisiac! oooooh!
It's true. Paris thrills me.

When I see the Eiffel Tower,
I have to go and take a shower.
It's true, I do.
Paris kills me,
And it makes me sexy.

As for Madrid, save it for El Cid.
Dinin' at the Lido loosens my libido
Like a big torpedo.
Seen Geneva, it's hardly jungle fever.
Been ta Bussels could use some red corpuscles.

Tried Toronto, departed "molto pronto".
Paris makes me tingle;
Makes me glad and single.
London's okay, if it's for one day.
Oh, but Paris makes me sexy
In this solar plexy

[speaking]
What's the matter, you're still thinking about the Count?

[singing]
Been ta Munich, where ev'ry guy's a eunuch.
An' ta Dublin, things ain't exactly bubblin'.
Hate Helsinki, the Finns are kinda kinky
But Paris...my ...ah, ah, ah, Paris!
Oh, yeah! Paris makes me... oh, oh, oh...Pooky!
_______________________________

Le Jazz Hot

M.C.
Ladies and Gentlemen, meine Damen und Herren, Madames and Monsieurs.
It's with great pleasure that I introduce to you one of
the most sensational true unique talent of this century,
the one and only: Victor!

Male Singer
'Bout twenty years ago way down in New Orleans,
A group of fellers found a new kind of music.
An' they decided to call it...

All
Jazz!

Male Singer
No other sound had what this music has.
Before they new it, it was whizzin' 'round the world.
The world was ready for a blue kind of music,
An' now they play it from Steamboat Springs to La Paz.
There is a story that began in New Orleans,
About this lady who discovered this music.
She fell completely in love with...

All
Jazz!

Male Singer
No one has loved it like this lady has.
They say today the lady travels 'round the world;
You'll only see her where they're playin' this music
That's why they've seen her from Steamboat Springs to La Paz.
Jazz as her escort, to give her jazzamatazz!

Victor
Oh baby, won't you play me
Le Jazz Hot, maybe,
And don't ever let it end.

I tell ya friend, it's really somethin' to hear.
I can't sit still when there's that rhythm near me.
Also, baby, Le Jazz Hot, maybe
What's holdin' my soul together!

Don't know whether it's mornin' or night;
Only know it's soundin' right.
So come on in and play me
Le Jazz Hot, baby,
'Cause I love my Jazz...hot!

All
Before they knew it, it was whizzin' 'round the world.
The world was ready for a blue kind of music,

Victor
An' now they play it from Steamboat Springs to La Paz.

All
Won't you play me ...
Jazz hot, baby...
Don't...let...it...end!

Victor
I tell ya friend, it's really somethin' to..

All
I tell ya friend, it's really somethin' to...
Hear!

Victor
I can't sit still when there's that...

All
Rhythm near me.

Victor
'Cause I love my Jazz...Hot!
When you play me Le Jazz Hot, baby
You're holdin' my soul together

All
Don't know whether it's mornin' or night;
Only know it's soundin' right;

Victor
So come on in and play me
Le Jazz Hot, baby,
'Cause I love my Jazz Hot
Love...Jazz...
Hooooooooooooooooooot!
Le Jazz Hot!
_________________________________

Trust Me

Toddy
My God!

Victoria
What's wrong?

Toddy
Victoria, I've just had the most incredible idea!

Victoria
Oh!

Toddy
You said you wanted to be a man...

Victoria
No, no, no...I said there were times when I felt
like being one...

Toddy
Well, here's your chance... What an inspiration!
You're world's greatest female impersonator!

Victoria
Who?

Toddy
You!

Victoria
Me?

Toddy
You'll be a star
You'll be bigger than Garbo and Dietrich by far. Trust me!

Victoria
Oh, come on!

Toddy
Yeah, if fate is kind, you could be Mistinguette
and Chevalier combined.
Trust me!

Victoria
Ah, ah, ah,ah...Sure?

Toddy
The trick for a drag-queen
Is trying to act like a woman, which very few can.
But the fact is, a drag-queen's a man!

Victoria
So, what are you saying?

Toddy
You're...not a man;

Victoria
How you noticed?

Toddy
You're a woman they'll think is a man; what a plan!

Victoria
Toddy!

Toddy
Trust me!

Victoria
Toddy, this is crazy!

Toddy
Now, being a girl...

Victoria
Hum...

Toddy
They all think is a man sets their minds in a whirl.

Victoria
Mine too!

Toddy
Trust me! Trust me!
All you have to do for the dream to come true
Is go out there and be what you are,
And we'll make you a world famous star!

Victoria
Ho, ho, ho...You're delirious!

Toddy
Lower your voice!

Victoria
Toddy!

Toddy
Lower!

Victoria
Toddy!

Toddy
Caruso, not Chayat!

Victoria
Toddy, if you don't get back into bed, I'll tell...

Toddy
God, when you get angry it drops naturally!
Look, you don't have to do anything new;
Simply do what you do when you're you,

Victoria
I don't do that!

Toddy
And the audience won't have a clue! It's true!
So for your plan...

Victoria
My plan?

Toddy
To succeed, and it can, they must think you're a man.
Trust me! Trust me!
If you're a man,

Victoria
Which I'm not!

Toddy
You'll be the greatest star since show bus'ness began.
Trust me!

Victoria
You're one!

Toddy
Trust me!

Victoria
No..ah,ah,ah!

Toddy
The beauty of this is, like all great ideas,
It's as simple as simple can be!

Victoria
It's simpler than what?

Toddy
And we'll have each other to thank

Victoria
For what?

Toddy
For the penthouse at the George Cinq

Victoria
Oh, that?

Toddy
It's a free ride to the bank,

Victoria
The left bank!

Toddy
But if you trust me...

Victoria
Should I?

Toddy
Trust me!

Victoria
Could I?

Toddy
Trust me!
Victoria, it'll work!

Victoria
Toddy, it will not!

Toddy
People believe what they see, and tomorrow afternoon
André Cassel is going to meet Europe's greatest female
impersonator...

Victoria
But André Casell is the biggest agent in Paris. If I'm the greatest,
how come he's never heard of me?

Toddy
You're the greatest, but you're unknown outside Poland!

Victoria
Poland?

Toddy
You're Count Victor Grazinsky, a Polish aristocrat.
Your family disinherited you when they discovered you are gay.
We met in Warsaw and fell in love and I brought you to Paris!

Victoria
Oh, this is all very clear now...This cannot fail

Toddy
I agree!

Victoria
To get both of us dumped in some grim Paris jail,
Toddy, trust me!

Toddy
But...

Victoria
Trust me!
Victoria Grant's got a much better chance singing Tosca
in Clacton On Sea!

Toddy
My proposal is not that bizarre;

Victoria
Yes, it is!

Toddy
At Casell's you'll become a huge star.

Victoria
Toddy!

Toddy
It's about when they think that you are!

Victoria
Now, hold it!

Toddy
What's wrong?

Victoria
What's wrong? What's right?
A woman impersonating a man impersonating a woman?

Toddy
Darling, to convince an audience that an illusion is real,
the magician creates a plausible diversion, Count Grazinsky
is our plausible diversion!

Victoria
No audience is that gullible!
I mean, they'll know he's a phony!

Toddy
Exactly!

Victoria
What?

Toddy
They'll know HE'S a phony...
Trust me!

________________________

If I Were a Man

Victoria
Well, I guess I can relay to that, I mean honestly there have
been times in my life when I wished I were a man!

Toddy
Why, for heaven's sake?

Victoria
Oh, that's easy...
If I were a man,
I could do a lot of things a woman never can.

Toddy
Like what, for example?

Victoria
Be free to plot and plan,
Free to live my life without permission from a man.
Man assumes that the world is tailor made for him,
Which it is.

He presumes that the world indulges ev'ry whim,
If it's his.

What a fabulous pursuit,
Hands in pockets, running things;
I must say, it appeals.
In my hundred dollar suit,
Toying with my golden fob-watch
As I make my deals.

Lucky man who is not made to feel
Like an also-ran.
What a lovely life I'd plan,
If I were a man.
I would build all the tallest buildings
Reaching up to the sky.

I'd explore ev'ry far off land,
And I would learn how to fly!
What a triumph it would be,
Doing all that fellas do, but better,
And with style.

Would be just my cup-of-tea;
They will all be furious,
And I would simply smile.
As a man, I would not need to feel like an also-ran.
Though I know I never can, ever be a man.
Oh, the life that I would plan,
If I were a man!
____________________________

Paris by Night

Toddy
Nowhere I know, no matter where I go
Seduces men like Paris does, en masse.
The streets of Pigalle, the bars of Les Halles,
The brass'ries and cafés at Montparnasse.
The cabarets and bistros where the writer or artiste goes
Are as much a part of Paris as La Tour Eiffel!

The rest'rants for purists
The nightclubs for the tourists,
We have those in abundance as well!
Paree can be a dangerous affair.
She offers far more follies than The Follies Bergères!
For sheer sophistication, plus some higher education,
The smarter set can't wait to step this way.

For here at Club "Chez Lui"
As you're all about to see,
We'll tell you straight why Gay Paree is gay.
Paris by night... Paree la nuit,
Seduces us in ways we don't expect to be.
She has magic from which ev'n a Houdini can't be free
'Cause Paris by night has mystery
That's haunted us and taunted us through history.

Shady secrets she is all too aware we long to share.
That's why it is, I guess, we all adore her
And hunger to explore her hidden charms.
She fools us all because she's so capricious,
But nothing's more delicious than to sleep in her arms.

For Paris by night's the only way
To realize that all in all it's night time not the day
That sets her apart, wins ev'ry heart,
And makes all our dreams take flight.
There's no dream you can't find in Paris...
Paree by night!

That's why it is, I guess, we all adore her
And hunger to explore her hidden charms
She fools us all because she's so capricious
But nothing's more delicious than to sleep in her arms
But Paris by night you can't condemn;
They say she's really at her best from two to six a.m.!

C'est vrais, she's sublime!
Nighttime's the time
When all of our dreams take flight
There's no dream you can't find in Paris,
Paree by night!

Toddy
Ah, thank you, thank you! You're most kind...In fact, you're every kind!

You know, you should be ashamed
of yourself bringing your old mother to a place like this!

Woman
Up yours, Cheri!

Henri
Stop, wait, please! Toddy apologize at once!

Toddy
Why isn't she his mother?

Woman
We are leaving!

Henri
I'm warning you, Toddy, if you do that again, I will fire
you in spite of your "body old".