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Camelot Lyrics
 

The Simple Joys of Maidenhood

Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve, it's Guenevere, remember me?
Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve, I'm over here, beneath this tree.
You know how faithful and devout I am
You must admit I've always been a lamb

But Genevieve, Saint Genevieve, I won't obey you anymore
You've gone a bit too far
I won't be bid and bargained for like beads in a bazaar
Saint Genevieve, I've run away, eluded them and fled
And from now on I intend to pray to someone else instead!

Oh Genevieve, Saint Genevieve, where were you when my youth was sold?
Dear Genevieve, sweet Genevieve, shan't I be young before I'm old?

Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
Where are all those adoring, daring boys?
Where's the knight pining so for me
He leaps to death in woe for me?
Oh, where are a maiden's simple joys?

Shan't I have the normal life a maiden should?
Shall I never be rescued in the wood?
Shall two knights never tilt for me
And let their blood be spilt for me?
Oh, where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Shall I not be on a pedestal,
Worshipped and competed for?
Not be carried off, or better still,
Cause a little war?

Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
Are those sweet, gentle pleasures gone for good?
Shall a feud not begin for me?
Shall kith not kill their kin for me?
Oh where are the trivial joys, harmless, convivial joys?
Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
__________________________________

The Lusty Month of May

Tra la! It's May!
The lusty month of May!
That lovely month when ev'ryone goes
Blissfully astray.
Tra la! It's here!
That shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts
Merrily appear!
It's May! It's May!
That gorgeous holiday
When ev'ry maiden prays that her ladwill be a cad!
It's mad! It's gay! A libelous display!
Those dreary vows that ev'ryone takes,
Ev'ryone breaks.
Ev'ryone makes divine mistakes
The lusty month of May!

Whence this fragrance wafting through the air?
What sweet feelings does its scent transmute?
Whence this perfume floating ev'rywhere?
Don't you know it's that dear forbidden fruit!
Tra la la la la! That dear forbidden fruit!
Tra la la la la!

Tra la la la la [etc.]

Tra la! It's May!
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev'ryone throws self-control away.
It's time to do a wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you'll always rue!
It's May! It's May!
The month of "yes you may,"
The time for ev'ry frivolous whim,
Proper or "im."
It's wild! It's gay!
A blot in ev'ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May.

Tra la! It's May!
The lusty month of May!
That lovely month when ev'ryone goes
Blissfully astray.
Tra la! It's here!
That shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts
Merrily appear.
It's May! It's May!
The month of great dismay

When all the world is brimming with fun,
Wholesome or "un."

It's mad! It's gay!
A libelous display!
Those dreary vows that ev'ryone takes,
Ev'ryone breaks.
Ev'ryone makes divine mistakes
The lusty month of May!
______________________________

Then You May Take Me to the Fair

Sir Lionel?
Do you recall the other night
When I distinctly said you might
Serve as my escort at the next town fair?
Well, I am afraid there's someone who
I must invite in place of you
Someone who plainly is beyond compare

The Frenchman's power is more tremendous
Than I have ere seen anywhere
And when a man is that stupendous
He by right should take me to the fair.

Your majesty, let me tilt with him
And smite him
Don't refuse me so abruptly, I implore
Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him
And Gaul will be divided once more.

You will bash and thrash him?

I'll smash and mash him!

You will give him trouble?

He will be rubble!

A mighty whack?

His skull will crack!

Well. Then,  you may take me to the fair
If you do all the things you promise
In fact, my heart would break
Should you not take me to the fair.

Sir Sagramore?
I have some rather painful news
Relative to the subject who's
To be beside me at the next court ball

You were the chosen one, I know
But it's tradition it should go
To the unquestioned champion
In the hall

And I'm convinced that splendid Frenchman
Can easily conquer one and all
And besting all our local henchmen
He should sit beside me at the ball.

I beg of you, ma'am, withhold your invitation
I swear to you this challenge will be met
And when I have finished up the operation
I will serve him to Your Highness en' brochette

You'll pierce right through him?

I'll barbeque him!

A wicked thrust?

It will be dust to dust!

From fore to aft?

He'll feel a draft

Well.
You may sit by me at the ball
f you demolish him in battle
In fact, I know I'd cry
Were you not by me at the ball.

Sir Dinadin?
Didn't I promise that you may
Guide me to London on the day
That I go up to judge the cattle show?

As it is quite a nasty ride
There must be someone by my side
Who'll be defending me from beast and foe

So when I choose whom I prefer go
I take the strongest knight I know
And young Du Lac seems strongest, ergo
He should take me to the cattle show.

Your majesty can't believe this blustering prattle
Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead
I promise you when I've done this gory battle
His shoulders will be lonesome for his head

You'll disconnect him?

I'll vivisect him!

You'll open wide him?

I'll sub-divide him!

Then you may guide me to the show
If you can carry out your program
In fact, I'd grieve inside
Should you not guide me to the ball

My lady, we shall put an end to
That Gallic bag of noise and nerve
When we do all that we intend to
He'll be a plate of french hors d'oeuvres

I do applaud your noble goals
Now let us see if you achieve them
And if you do then you will be the three
Who will go, to the ball, to the show
And take me to the fair!
____________________________

Before I Gaze at You

Before I gaze at you again
I'll need a time for tears.
Before I gaze at you again
Let hours turn to years.

I have so much forgetting to do
Before I try to gaze again at you.

Stay away until you cross my mind
Barely once a day.
Stay away until I wake and find
That I can smile and say

That I shall gaze at you again
Without a blush or qualm.
My eyes will shine like new again,
My manner poised and calm.

No sign of fear,
Not even a sigh.
And so till when
We meet again

Good bye, good bye, good bye
_____________________________

What Do the Simple Folk Do?

What do the simple folk do
To help them escape when they're blue?
The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum
The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb

When they're beset and besieged
The folk not noblessly obliged
However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
Oh, what do simple folk do, we do not?

I have been informed by those who know them well
They find relief in quite a clever way
When they're sorely pressed, they whistle for a spell
And whistling seems to brighten up their day
And that's what simple folk do
So they say

They whistle?

So they say

What else do the simple folk do
To pluck up the heart and get through?
The wee folk and the grown folk
Who wander to and fro
Have ways known to their own folk
We throne folk don't know

When all the doldrums begin
What keeps each of them in his skin?
What ancient native custom provides the needed glow?
Oh, what do simple folk do?
Do you know?

Once, upon the road, I came upon a lad
Singing in a voice three times his size
When I asked him why, he told me he was sad
And singing always made his spirits rise
And that's what simple folk do
I surmise

They sing?

I surmise

Arise, my love, arise, my love
Apollo's lighting the skies, my love
The meadows shine with columbine
And daffodils blossom away
Hear Venus call to one and all
Come taste delight while you may
The world is bright and all is right
And life is merry and gay

What else do the simple folk do?
They must have a system or two
They obviously outshine us at turning tears to mirth
Have tricks a royal highness is minus from birth

What, then, I wonder, do they
To chase all the goblins away?
They have some tribal sorcery you haven't mentioned yet
Oh, what do simple folk do to forget?

Often, I am told, they dance a fiery dance
And whirl 'till they're completely uncontrolled
Soon the mind is blank and all are in a trance
A violent trance astounding to behold
And that's what simple folk do
So I'm told

What else do the simple folk do
To help them escape when they're blue?

They sit around and wonder what royal folk would do
And that's what simple folk do

Oh, really?

I have it on the best authority.

Yes, that's what simple folk do
__________________________________

I Loved You Once in Silence

I loved you once in silence
And mis'ry was all I knew.
Trying so to keep my love from showing,
All the while not knowing you loved me too.

Yes, loved me in lonesome silence;
Your heart filled with dark despair.
Thinking love would flame in you forever,
And I'd never, never know the flame was there.

Then one day we cast away our secret longing;
The raging tide we held inside would hold no more.
The silence at last was broken!
We flung wide our prison door.
Ev'ry joyous word of love was spoken.

And now there's twice as much grief,
Twice the strain for us;
Twice the despair,
Twice the pain for us
As we had known before.

The silence at last was broken!
We flung wide our prison door.
Ev'ry joyous word of love was spoken.

And after all had been said,
Here we are, my love,
Silent once more,
And not far, my love,
From where we were before.
_______________________________

I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight?

I know what my people are thinking tonight,
As home through the shadows they wander.
Ev'ryone smiling in secret delight,
They stare at the castle and ponder.

Whenever the wind blows this way,
You can almost hear ev'ryone say

I wonder what the king is doing tonight?
What merriment is the king pursuing tonight?
The candles at the court, they never burned as bright.
I wonder what the king is up to tonight?

How goes the final hour
As he sees his bridal bower
Being regally and legally prepared?

Well, I'll tell you what the king is doing tonight:
He's scared! He's scared!

You mean that a king who fought a dragon,
Hacked him in two and fixed his wagon,
Goes to be wed in terror and distress?
Yes!

A warrior who's so calm in battle
Even his armor doesn't rattle
Faces a woman petrified with fright?
Right!

You mean that appalling clamoring
That sounds like a blacksmith hammering
Is merely the banging of his royal knees?
Please!

You wonder what the king is wishing tonight?
He's wishing he were in Scotland fishing tonight!
What occupies his time while waiting for the bride?
He's searching high and low for some place to hide.

And oh, the expectation,
The sublime anticipation
He must feel about the wedding night to come.
Well, I'll tell you what the king is feeling tonight:

He's numb! He shakes!
He quails! He quakes!

And that's what the king is doing tonight.
___________________________________

Camelot

It's true! It's true! The crown has made it clear.
The climate must be perfect all the year.
A law was made a distant moon ago here
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot.

The winter is forbidden till December
And exits March the second on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September
In Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot
That's how conditions are.

The rain may never fall till after sundown.
By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Camelot, Camelot
Those are the legal laws.

The snow may never slush upon the hillside.
By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.
In short, there's simply not

A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.
_____________________________

C'est Moi

Camelot! Camelot!
In far-off France I heard your call.
Camelot! Camelot!
And here am I to give my all.

I know in my soul what you expect of me,
And all that and more I shall be.
A knight of the Table Round should be invincible,
Suceed where a less fantastic man would fail.

Climb a wall no one else can climb,
Cleave a dragon in record time,
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail.
No matter the pain, he ought to be unwinceable,
Impossible deeds should be his daily fare.

But where in the world
Is there in the world
A man so extraordinaire?

C'est moi! C'est moi, I'm forced to admit.
'Tis I, I humbly reply.
That mortal who
These marvels can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.

I've never lost
In battle or game;
I'm simply the best by far.
When swords are crossed
'Tis always the same:
One blow and au revoir!

C'est moi! C'est moi! So adm'rably fit!
A French Prometheus unbound.
And here I stand, with valour untold,
Exeption'ly brave, amazingly bold,
To serve at the Table Round!

The soul of a knight should be a thing remarkable,
His heart and his mind as pure as morning dew.
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
He could easily work a miracle or two.

To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable,
The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A man so untouched and pure?
C'est moi!

C'est moi! C'est moi, I blush to disclose.
I'm far too noble to lie.
That man in whom
These qualities bloom,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.

I've never strayed
From all I believe;
I'm blessed with an iron will.
Had I been made
The partner of Eve,
We'd be in Eden still

C'est moi! C'est moi! The angels have chose
To fight their battles below,
And here I stand, as pure as a pray'r,
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare,
The godliest man I know!
C'est moi!
_____________________________

How to Handle a Woman

How to handle a woman?
There's a way,' said the wise old man,
'A way known by ev'ry woman
Since the whole rigmarole began.'

'Do I flatter her?' I begged him answer.
'Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?'

Said he, smiling: 'No indeed.
How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir:

The way to handle a woman
Is to love her, simply love her.
Merely love her, love her, love her.'

How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir:

The way to handle a woman
Is to love her, simply love her.
Merely love her, love her, love her.
________________________________

If Ever I Would Leave You

If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer.
Seeing you in summer I never would go.

Your hair streaked with sun-light,
Your lips red as flame,
Your face with a luster
That puts gold to shame!

But if I'd ever leave you,
How could it be in autumn.
How I'd leave in autumn I never will know.

I've seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air.
I know you in autumn
And I must be there.

And could I leave you
Running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
When you catch the fire's glow?

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! Not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! Not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!
_____________________________

Guenevere

Oh, they found Guenevere
With her bold cavalier
And as swords rang through the hall
Lance escaped them, one and all

On a day dark and drear
Came to trial Guenevere
Ruled the jury for her shame
She be sentenced to the flame

Early dawn was the time
She would pay for her crime
Or would Lancelot reappear
Come and rescue Guenevere?

I'll wager the king himself is hoping he will return
Why would he have chosen five AM for the queen to burn?
When the world is black and gray, what time would be more ideal
For Lancelot to steal Guenevere?

As the dawn filled the sky
On the day she would die
There was wonder far and near
Would the king burn Guenevere?

Then suddenly earth and sky were dazed by a pounding roar
And suddenly through the dawn an army began to pour
And lo, ahead the army, holding aloft his spear
Came Lancelot to save his dear Guenevere

By the score fell the dead
As the sky turned to red
Countless numbers felt his spear
As he rescued Guenevere

In that dawn, in that gloom
More than love met its doom
In the dying candle's gleam
Came the sundown of a dream

Guenevere, Guenevere
In that dim, mournful year
Saw the men she held most dear
Go to war for Guenevere

Guenevere, Guenevere
Guenevere, Guenevere
Saw the men she held most dear
Go to war for Guenevere
Guenevere, Guenevere, Guenevere
_________________________________

Camelot [Reprise]

Each evening, from December to December,
Before you drift to sleep upon your cot,
Think back on all the tales that you remember
Of Camelot.

Ask ev'ry person if he's heard the story,
And tell it strong and clear if he has not,
That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory
Called Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!

Now say it out with pride and joy!
Camelot! Camelot!

Where once it never rained till after sundown,
By eight a.m. the morning fog had flown.
Don't let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment that was known
As Camelot.



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